My dad always says he doesn't like being spoken to in the mornings. I always thought that was so mean of him. That's usually when I feel the most energy for expression because I have been sleeping, alone with my thoughts for at least 8 hours. Now, I'm ready to get my mouth motor running. He doesn't like to be bothered with all of my thoughts and feelings before he has had time to process his own. I understand that now more than ever. My students are my payback for all of that verbal garbage I dumped on my dad all of those mornings...and that I may still be guilty of to this day with my husband.
Some students come in and want to tell me all about everything or bombard me with questions about the day or yesterday. I'm not ready to confront all of their issues right away. I need to think to myself, think about what I'm going to talk about in class that day, think about what's ahead and where we are.
Before class, I do not like being approached. Unfortunately, this is when most of them want to appoach me. Why is it that students all feel that this is prime time to approach me with things like:
"I wasn't here for the last few days. What did we do?" or my favorite, "Did we do anything?"
"I will be gone on such and such days."
"Is this done correctly?" "I'm confused about..."
"Is it too late to turn this in?"
"What are we going to be doing in class today?"
or some long personal story that explains why they were gone.
Then, there is that person who comes in after I have begun, stands there at my desk, interrupts me, and gives me a little tidbit about their issue. Even if they're saying, "I'm so sorry I was late," (which is weird.... Are you so sorry you're interrupting, too?) I don't want to hear it. Sit down, please.
Why don't they wait until after class? I don't want to have a discussion with them in front of the whole class, while they are all at full attention. Everyone is waiting patiently for class to begin. I'm sure they all have thoughts that they could say out loud but don't. Each person has a personal issue or maybe an absence that bothered them. Not everyone knows exactly what's going on immediately when they walk in, but they sit there and they wait. But here this person is, wanting to discuss a little matter right at the head of the classroom like it's top priority. Now, I don't expect people to know that I hate this. I feel mean even writing this. I can understand their point of view.
But still...
Everytime someone gets out of their seat and walks toward the desk in those few minutes before class starts, I don't look at them until I have to. I am hoping they are just going to the bathroom or sharpening their pencil. I don't want to be approached right now, peeps. Maybe it's just a personal preference of mine. I'm sure it's perfectly normal to want to talk to your instructor about something before class. But I hate it. Sit down, please. I will talk to you after class or in office hours. Many of your questions and concerns will be addressed in the day's discussion if you'll just wait. Your absence, late work, personal problem is not important to me right now in this moment. I'm sorry. I will care about it later. But right now, I am occupied with teaching, with thinking and preparing. *Sigh* but I will continue about my polite way of answering when I can, ushering them with a quick guesture and a smile to their seat, a nice little, "hold on a minute and I'll explain that to all of you," until the end of time. Smile. Deep breath. I do love students. I really do.
